(*Written January 24, 2018)
Dear Little Baby,
It’s been 10 days since I found out you would be joining us! I still cannot believe we will be a family of FIVE. You are the one who is going to complete our family!
It’s funny—you’d think with already having 2 healthy babies and (luckily and thankfully!) very uneventful pregnancies, I would be less worried this time around. But…not so much. I am DEFinitely more distracted (hello, two young kids!) and don’t have as much TIME to worry, but the worry is still there. Just today at work I was furiously Googling “5 weeks pregnant no symptoms”. Then I go back to my blog post when I was pregnant with Kate and read over and over again the part where I state I didn’t have any symptoms until week 6. We shall see!
*It’s a bit ironic that as I was typing this I left to head into a meeting, only to notice I missed a call from my doctor’s office. I spent the WHOLE meeting convinced it was bad news…ugh. Thankfully I just got off the phone with the nurse who said my HCG levels look good, as do my progesterone levels. I get checked tomorrow and they should know more then–fingers crossed!
Trying to think positively, though, we are absolutely THRILLED to have another little one joining our family! For a while after having Colleen, and especially in the last year (age 1-2 is REALLY hard for me and Brian!), we just felt so content with our family of 4. That, and I couldn’t possibly fathom having our chaotic house currently with a newborn in the mix. Um…no thanks!
But in recent weeks things have seemed to calm down just a bit, and more importantly, it just felt like it was time. While I am incredibly happy with both of my girls and our little family, I KNEW our family wouldn’t feel complete to me without just one more little person. I told Brian I needed to get through the holidays (who wants to be sick and nauseous at Christmas?!) and January/February seemed like good times to “hunker down” and stay on the couch. Honestly I didn’t expect it to happen right away (although with my history…why am I surprised?!), but it did! And, again, I feel VERY lucky in that aspect. I told Brian, if there’s only one thing to be good at in life…I guess that’s a pretty good one. 🙂
So, here we are. I can’t wait to see who this little one will be! When I found out I was expecting Colleen, I experienced a wave of emotions. Kate still felt so young, and as a mother of one child you simply can’t fathom loving another child so much. And then you meet your next little one…and BOOM. You can’t imagine life without them as SOON as you meet them. So I know it will be the same way this time around—and in fact, so much of my excitement comes from thinking of giving Kate and Colleen another sibling to love! Yes, it’s true…siblings fight and drive you MAD. But to see them play together and giggle and comfort each other? There is really nothing better than that.