Two Years

It really seems like Brian and I have been together MUCH longer than 3.5 years.  I kind of think of my life as “pre-Brian” and “now”, and to be quite honest…I don’t like to think much about “pre-Brian.”  Not because I was miserable (well….at times, yes), but because I just don’t like the idea of my life without him in it.

Brian makes me a better person.  He makes me WANT to be a better person.  Before him, I never really noticed trees and their beauty…how each one is so unique and has its own quirks.  I never noticed birds, really, or animals in general.  I mean, I SAW them, but I didn’t put much thought into them.  I saw my first bald eagle when I was with him, and I find myself getting excited when I spot a hawk or an owl on my own.

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He makes me laugh harder than anyone I know.  He is the smartest person I’ve ever met, and he is also the most humble.  His talents are numerous, and he’s the first to tackle a challenging task or project (I would be the last).  Anyone who knows Brian adores him.  Or at least they should.

His kindness never ceases to amaze me.  Just last week he was late getting home because a high school girl had a flat tire, and her mom and grandma were also with her (and none of them knew what to do).  Brian not only put on her spare tire, but he talked her through the whole process…just in case she ever needed to do it on her own.  When the mom walked over to the grocery to buy Brian a gift card, he refused it.  He told her to give it to someone in need, instead.

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I think a part of why I’m okay with getting older is because I am THRILLED thinking about all of our future adventures, growing our family, the trips we’ll take, the things he’ll make me do that I’m sure I won’t always want to do, the jokes he’ll tell, and even the struggles we’ll endure that’ll make us stronger in the end.

Of course, like any marriage, there are little things he does that drive me crazy….but it probably pales in comparison to the annoying things I do.

I can’t imagine being this happy with anyone else in the whole world.

Happy 2nd Anniversary to my true love.

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Some Days….

I feel like I have all my shit together.  That was this morning, for me.  Brian’s been leaving for work earlier due to summer hours, so he’s usually out the door by 6:25 a.m.  It’s added just a few minutes to my morning routine, but enough that things feel extra hectic while I wrestle the dog, baby, and try to pack things up for the day while making breakfast.

So, yeah…this morning I felt like I had it all together.  I had a cute outfit on, made my breakfast sandwich, put Montana in his kennel, ran out the door, got Kate changed and strapped in the jeep, and noticed that we were ON TIME!

And then I got down a mile down the street and realized I had forgotten my purse and phone.

U turn!  Back home I go.  Oh, and the runny egg from my sandwich decided to dribble down my shirt at that exact moment.

Oh well.  You win some, you lose some, right?  Here’s to trying to be on time again tomorrow.

Baby Kate: 9 Months

Weight & Height: 17 lbs, 3 oz (32%), 28 inches (64%), and head is 45 cm (80%).

Eating:  Still nursing/taking a bottle 6 times a day.  She’s been eating about 3-4 oz. 3 times at Michelle’s, and we’re still nursing once in the morning and twice in the evenings.  I was worried about my supply dropping again, but it makes sense that it is because we FINALLY have an eater on our hands!

Well…kind of.  On a whim I picked up YoBaby yogurt, and our girl LOVES it.  I’ve even found that if she eats the yogurt, I can also feed her baby food (Apples and Mangos are a hit) in between bites.  So far we’ve just tried Apple and Blueberry flavored yogurts because that was all the store had the day I went shopping, and I’ve stuck with it.  When you have a picky eater, you’ll stick with what works!  I brought it up to her doctor at her appointment that she is our picky girl, and the doctor recommended having her play with table food in her high chair.  She said to show her how to put the food in your mouth, and hopefully she’ll pick up on it, herself.  We’re going to give that a shot!

Sleeping (naps):  Still taking two naps a day, between 1.5-2 hours long.

Sleeping (at night):  Sadly bedtime has gotten early again.  Funny thing is, if I was staying at home full-time I would probably LOVE that. 🙂 But now that bedtime is between 7-8 p.m., it kind of stinks since that only means 2-3 hours with her in the evenings.  Hopefully as she gets older we can move it back later.

Clothing:  6 month sizes are getting pretty tight!  Our girl is getting tall.  Wonder where she gets that from? 🙂  She’s in mostly 9 month size and SOME 12 month – although most of it is a bit big still.

New this month:  The biggest thing this month is that she’s starting waving and crawling!  The crawl is definitely a very slow army crawl, but if you put a remote (or cell phone) in front of her she’ll sure find a way to get to it.  And the waving….oh the waving.  Could there BE anything cuter???!

Nicknames:  Kate Kate, Peanut, Peanut Pumpkin, Sweet Girl, and Pooh Butt

Kate likes:

-Kate LOVES to be around other kids.  She loves her cousins (clearly!), and she can’t get enough of the other kids at daycare – especially Michelle’s girls!  They are so good to her.

-She really likes it when people pay attention to her.  😉 She’ll often stare at people just waiting for them to look at her and react.  When or if they do…her reaction/smile is priceless!

-Her dog!  She giggles when he comes to lay down by her side, and she’s started pulling and tugging on him all.the.time (poor guy).  He’s a good sport, though.

-Still loves balancing on her daddy’s palm!

-Strangely, even though she HATES having her nose wiped, she LOVES having her face wiped.  She will actually open her mouth when you approach her with a wet paper towel….silly girl.

Kate dislikes:  

-She’s definitely learned when we have to put her down or in something (like the ExerSaucer) in order to get things done.  She is NOT a fan of that!

-Doesn’t like to be alone. And REALLY doesn’t like if you’re not paying attention to her. 🙂

Day in the Life

4:45: Wake up to hear Kate crying.  She’s been getting up sometimes either in the middle of the night or super early (sometimes both), which is unusual for her. Go into get her (my favorite part…she’s so sweet and cuddly when she’s sleepy) and bring her back to bed. Nurse her for about 25 minutes, and lay her back down.  She rolls right over and nuzzles into her blankie.  I go back to bed and am unable to fall asleep for a bit, but I have to laugh to myself because I hear her babbling to herself in her room.

5:30: Stare at my alarm clock and try to will myself back to sleep.  It takes a few minutes, but finally I doze off because…

6:20: Woken up by my alarm.  And we’re off!  Get up to put my contacts in and shower.

6:40: Brian wakes up Kate.  I’m so glad she was able to get some more sleep!  He changes her diaper and then we all head downstairs.  I make some eggs for Brian and I (we’ve been eating egg sandwiches on English muffins for breakfast lately, when we have enough time…SO GOOD) and pack up my things for work: pump/pump parts, lunch/snack, water bottle, Kate’s food, Kate’s diaper bag…I think that’s it.  Whew!

6:58: Leave home.  I always aim to leave the house by 6:55 since Michelle opens at 7, but today I’m just a few minutes behind.  I arrive at Michelle’s at 7:05 (it’s always a weird/fun contest to me to beat the time–oh the things we do to amuse ourselves) and bring Kate inside.  Reid is there, which is a treat!  I normally drop Kate off before he arrives, so it’s good to see him.  He’s shy this morning but gives me a sweet smile.  Kate’s BFF, Mason, is so happy to see her and immediately plays with her piggies.  Ever since Kate has been going to Michelle’s, I’ve sent her in a sleeper since it’s been cold.  But now that the weather is warmer, I’ve been sending her in (gasp!) real clothes!  It’s funny because the twins, Mason and Michael (almost 2) are obsessed with her toes because they’ve never seen them until now.

7:10: Get into my car and head into work.  I was driving on the interstate this morning (in the middle lane) and notice someone driving RIGHT next to me at the same speed…for awhile.  This is such a pet peeve of mine for some reason!  Finally I look over to see a hand waving and a big smile.  It’s Brian!

7:44:  Arrive at work.  I have actually been doing well with getting to work earlier (usually it’s between 7:35/7:40), but today I’m just a little behind.  I’m always the first to arrive which honestly I love.  Well, other than the fact that our building is supposedly haunted.  And the “ghost” killed himself in the room which is now my office. Buuuuut I try not to think about that.  And it’s light out in the morning now, which certainly helps!

7:45:  Get to my desk and check emails, start working on a couple of reports.  Chat with my co-workers as they come in.

8:45:  Time to pump!  Normally I wait until 9, but I have a student to meet with at 9:30 so I head out a little early.

9:35:  Student didn’t show, so I head back to my desk.  Return some emails and work a bit more.

10:05:  Get an email that the student arrived, so I head down to meet with her. Sweet lady, but it sounds like she has a realllllly low GPA and might not be admissible.

10:30:  Return to my desk and finish working on a mailing and printing acceptance letters.  Also order this from Baby Gap for Kate!  GapI couldn’t resist.  I had a 40% off coupon and it’s only the third (I think?) outfit I’ve ordered for her all year.  She deserves it, right?

11:50:  Heat up leftovers I brought for lunch (Garlic and Brown Sugar Chicken….pretty good) and head upstairs to pump.

12:45:  Head out to CVS to get a couple of greeting cards on my break.  I usually don’t take a lunch break but once a week (when I go get groceries), but it always feels so nice to get out.  The high is 86 degrees here today!

1:05:  Get back to work and start reviewing files.  Send some emails and chat with my co-worker a bit.

2:50:  Go catch up with my friend and co-worker, Ashley.  Since I switched positions last month, I’m no longer working directly with her.  It’s funny because even though our offices are in the same building (and maaaaybe only 60 feet door to door), some days I’ll go without seeing her or talking to her.  I miss her!

3:20:  Probably spent too long chatting…pump time again.  I LOVE the last pumping session of the day because once it’s done, it’s pretty much time to go home.

4:02:  I’m out the door and headed to see my FAVORITE girl in the whole wide world.

4:37:  Arrive at Michelle’s to pick up previously mentioned favorite girl.  Again, it’s always kind of a game to see how fast I can get to/from work.  Today traffic isn’t so bad…35 minutes is pretty darn good these days!  Chat with Michelle (I just love her to pieces) and head home.

5:00:  Bring Kate and all the gear inside, while trying to “shhhh!” Montana the best I can.  Understandably he’s ready to be out of his kennel, like everyday, but he sure doesn’t holding back letting me know.  Take Kate and things inside, then close the garage door and let him in.  Like most days, he goes CRAZY running around in our house while I try to unpack things from the day.  Thankfully, we have a TON of leftovers–like, enough for the rest of the week–since Brian grilled last night.  So no cooking for me!  I heat up some leftovers and eat while feeding Kate.  Tonight for her it is sweet potatoes and vanilla yogurt.  I always give her table food to eat in the highchair while I’m  washing pump parts and getting my meal ready, but about 85% of it ends on the floor (or should I say in Montana’s mouth).  I let Montana out on his rope to go to the bathroom, then bring him in and give him some water.  Poor guy gets HOT out there when it’s this warm.

6:10:  Kate is a mess, and she also had sunscreen on her today, so I decide it’d be a good bath night.  She LOVES the bath these days.  And the best part is that she doesn’t need a single toy!  I have some and she does kind of play with them a bit, but ultimately her favorite thing is to take her hands and just splash, splash, splash.  And squeal loudly at the same time, of course.  It’s the cutest thing.

6:30:  Dress Kate and get her in a new diaper just as Brian arrives home.  He comes upstairs to see us, then heads down to heat up some leftovers for himself.

6:45:  I take Kate and Montana on a walk.  I think we go about 1.5 miles or so.  It’s actually not as hot/humid as it was earlier, so it doesn’t feel too bad.  Kate LOVES being outside!  We recently started using our umbrella stroller and we are so, so glad we got one.  It’s so compact and easier to maneuver.

7:10:  Get back home.  Brian and I play with Kate for a bit.  She is really into the new car we got her, so Brian pulls her on that for a bit.  She’s our entertainment for the evening…what can we say?  I vacuum the downstairs while Kate and Brian are playing.

8:05:  Kate is starting to fuss, so bedtime it is!  I take her upstairs and read her a book, then lay her down.  Some nights she cries for about 20 seconds or so, but tonight she lies right down.

8:15:  I get all ready to mow, but then decide not to.  Brian said he’ll do it tomorrow night instead.  Sounds good to me!  Clean up the kitchen and finish dishes.  Decide to have my stand by dessert – greek yogurt, peanuts, and a spoonful of almond butter.  I eat and Brian and I get on our phones and chat.  Really this means he shows me memes and videos from Reddit.

9:00:  We contemplated watching a show, but we are too tired….so bedtime wins.  It’s funny that staying up past 9:30 these days is a real victory. 🙂  But it’s really nice to feel rested, too!  We head upstairs and hit the hay.

Nothing extremely exciting, but I couldn’t love it more. 🙂

 

 

In a Funk

I’ve been in a bit of a funk lately (well, “lately” being in the last week or so).  It happens from time to time, and I just wish I could snap myself out of it.

I read this blog post about struggling with being a working mama, and I feel like I could have written it myself.  I just feel like all I want to do when I’m at home is spend time with Kate–not exercise, not spend time cooking, not cleaning, not even paying 100% of my attention to Brian.  I feel like a bad mom (because I’m missing so much of her life), a bad wife because I don’t focus enough on Brian, a bad housekeeper/chef, and a bad friend.  I do think I’m doing well at my new job, though, so there’s that.

I know there are mannnny working mamas out there who’ve done it all.  And I know I can do it all, too, (well….maybe?), but most days I feel like it’s not ever enough.

I was feeling pretty good about things right before our trip to Ireland; I was working out 3 or 4 times a week, eating healthy, keeping the house pretty clean, being a pretty good wife….and then since we came home, I don’t know.  I just don’t have the energy to work out (which translates to not having energy to eat healthy).  I know that has a big effect on my mood/emotional well being, it’s just making that effort to get started (again!).

I’m not looking for any sympathy, I just know in my heart that I need to take better care of myself.  And not beat myself up so much for not being able to do everything well, 100% of the time.  I’m starting tomorrow by working out and doing (healthy) meal prep for next week.  I’ve also texted a couple of friends about meeting up soon, either with Kate or after she’s in bed.  Even though ALL I want to do in the evening is lay on the couch and be lazy with Brian, I know I need to make an effort to get out and be with friends, too.  Even if it’s just once a month.

I can’t come up with a solution to missing Kate…I don’t think there is one.  I think I just have to suck it up buttercup, and hope/pray that maybe–maybe–one day I’ll be able to stay home even just part-time.

But even if I am not able to, I know I need to focus on the positive.  I have a happy, healthy, beautiful baby girl.  And even though she sees her (totally awesome) sitter more than me, that doesn’ t mean I love her any less.

Kate